Testing You
by A Girl Named Truth
Summary: It's not that he'd wanted to hurt Howard, he just wanted to test him. *ONESHOT*


The door slammed. Vince stood by the table, nervous as hell, biting his nails and everything. He knew he was going to be in for a bollocking as soon as Howard got up the stairs. He was bound to be pissed, first the hitcher thing, then the prostitute thing, then the student loans thing. He'd really had a shocker. And that's why Vince really wasn't looking forward to being professionally told off for the whole spray paint thing.

He heard Howard clomp up the last few steps and shut his eyes tight in anticipation like when he was about to be slapped. Which for all he knew he might well be.

But what he didn't expect was nothing. Silence. Not a word.

Five seconds past, then ten, then thirty, then he couldn't take it anymore.

"Howard?"

Still nothing.

"Howard?…Look I'm not gonna try and beg forgiveness or nothing, but I am sorry"

The hardest sentence Vince had ever said, he didn't handle being serious well and his pride was probably to big for him to be able to literally swallow.

"Why?" When Howard spoke it was so quietly Vince barely heard it.

"Well…because I hurt you and I shouldn't of"

"No Vince…Why did you do it in the first place?" This time it was louder, Vince could tell an argument was brewing inside Howard, he was working up his confidence. Vince hated it when he was like that. He also hated the fact that it was a genuine question as well. One he was expected to answer.

"I…don't know. I just…"

"Of course you know, you must have had a reason!" His anger was fully worked up now and Vince was slightly scared. He'd never really had a fight with Howard before, not a proper one. He backed around one of the chairs, he hoped it wouldn't come down to a physical fight but there was a look in Howard's eyes that Vince didn't like.

"No…I…" Vince trailed off, he really didn't know what he could say to Howard. He couldn't tell him why he had done it. It seemed like a good idea at the time? In all honestly it had. He never thought that Howard would be this hurt by it. He just wanted…

"It's a simple question Vince!"

"Alright, alright! Maybe it's because I wanted it to be true!"

"What! You want me to bum people for small change?" Howard was somewhat stopped by this, he still looked mad but he wasn't advancing on Vince like he was going to kill him anymore.

"No, no, no…well kind of but not how you think." He paused, he was trapped, he could seem to say anything right. Beaten constantly by his own stupid wording.

"How else could it be?"

"I…I just wanted to, I don't know…shock you into thinking about it?"

"Thinking about what?" The anger had faded from Howard's eyes replaced by pure confusion.

"About….y'know"

"No I don't know Vince, what on earth are you going on about?"

Vince sighed. He was going to have to say it wasn't he. He was gonna have to spell it out.

"I wanted you to think about maybe…going gay?"

The look of confusion in Howard's eyes deepened, mixed with shock.

"WHAT? WHY? HUH?"

"I was…testing you. I just thought if you had to deal with it you would be so closed minded and maybe you'd consider it…consider me" Vince could feel his cheeks reddening, he hated admitting that he wanted Howard to himself, to have to say it out loud was torture. Especially when he knew he'd be knocked back and probably laughed at.

"Right so let me get this straight…you wrote that I lick balls for money on the front of the shop, so that I'd consider licking balls and that by humiliating me it'd be your balls I'd be licking"

"More or less, yeah." It was probably the weirdest thing that had ever come out of Howard's mouth but it summed his plan up perfectly, though it did make it sound stupid.

"You've gone mad!"

"What?" Vince looked up sharply.

"You're crazy, why the hell…"

Vince never heard the end of that sentence because he'd ran across the room and halfway down the stairs. He never heard Howard calling his name as he slammed the front door and started up the street.

He walked the streets aimlessly for a decent hour or so, planning out his excuses for what he'd said. He could always say it was a joke. Eventually the rain drove him back to the flat, as much as he was hurting he knew he shouldn't make his hair suffer.

He stopped outside the shop, blinking through the rain at the red mess that was the shutters of the shop. At first he thought it was left over from what he'd wrote before but as he got closer he could make out his name. It was only just legible as the paint ran in the rain but he could make it out if he concentrated.

"Vince Noir sucks cock for pick'n'mix sweets"

Vince could feel his heart rise to his throat. Did that mean what he thought it did? Even just the hope made him run as far as he could up the stairs not stopping until he was face to face with Howard.

"I saw the message"

"Good, that was the point"

"So does that mean…?"

"Well, if you had let me finish"

"Finish what?"

"I was going to say…why the hell didn't you just tell me you idiot"

"Oh…I am an idiot aren't I?

"Just a bit…but you're my idiot"

They held it for about 30 seconds before they crumbled into giggles.

"You are sooooo cheesy!"

"Yeah well…You suck peoples cocks for pick'n'mix!"

"Have you got any pick'n'mix?"

"Well, about that…I only realised after I wrote it that Woolworths has gone bust so…"

"Aha! No cock sucking for you then"

"I'm sure they sell it somewhere else…I didn't think before I wrote it!"

Maybe if he had thought about it he would have foreseen the mountain of pick'n'mix that blocked out the windows the next morning.


End file.
